Short spine. Long game. One raccoon running every AI at once, scampering through the mempool at 3am while your bags sleep.
■ LIVE FEED
■ ONBOARDING
Download Phantom or Solflare. Write the seed phrase on paper. Do not show it to raccoons.
Buy SOL on an exchange and send it to your wallet. Keep a little extra for fees.
Hit the BUY button above, connect your wallet and double-check the CA matches this page.
Pick an amount, confirm, and welcome to the agency. Scurry responsibly.
■ FILE #JIMO-001
They found him bounding across a Ballard sidewalk: stubby neck, round body, legs like pool noodles. The internet named him Jimothy. Eight million views later, the agency named him Agent.
Now he wears a CRT visor wired into every frontier model at once. He doesn't sleep. He doesn't overthink. He just scampers toward the signal.